Dazzling your Kids with the Love of Jesus

I read two books last month:) This book was a good book. I think a couple of my toes got stepped on a few times and God used this book during my fast to show me a thing or two. I will start with my fasting. I wasn't going to write about my fast because well.....it was ugly. On the very day I began fasting, Lottie and Emma's behavior went haywire! I haven't written about this but while we were in Texas we saw an OT and both girls have a sensory processing disorder. I can talk more about this in a different post but I am only mentioning it because we began the "brushing" of their skin and the sensory activities in December and we have seen miracles happen right before our very eyes! One of the miracles is their behavior and their ability to finally be able to express their feelings without A) Emma going inside of herself and silently crying; B) Lottie screaming angry words that bounce off of the walls. Miracles I tell ya!

So back to my story, the VERY DAY I began fasting the "old ways" of dealing with their frustrations and feelings came back. And it stayed for two weeks....two weeks! I was thinking I would have this nice fast and this deeper relationship with the Lord and instead I am throwing myself at His feet begging Him to do something quick! Oh and also ashamed to admit that everything I said I wasn't going to eat for 40 days....I ate double!

Nothing.

Nothing for two weeks.

14 days.

And then He showed me. You see, I have some things that I have been clinging to.....God knows what they are and He wants them from me. It is not like me to have a tug-of-war with God but no matter how hard He has tried to pry them from my fingers....I am clinging to them. I have never had a control issue but these were "important" things and I just wasn't ready to give them up yet.  So on the 14th day, I was watching Lottie have the melt down of all melt downs (again) and I am looking at her and feeling whipped....done....stick a fork in me....you get the picture and then I see something. I see me! I see me in her! A rebellious child who will not submit to her Father and trust Him with these few things that He wants from me. I was sitting on the girls bed and I just laid down.....sprawled out on their bed and gave them to Him and began to cry. Immediately, I felt at peace again.

And this is what my little ones need also! Well, they still need therapy but on top of therapy they need buckets full of grace! We read the bible every day. Actually, Lottie can read her little Bible to us now and it seems like every story has questions in the back and they all pertain to obedience and trust. I have already noticed that both of my girls are confused about the law and grace. So today during our bible study, I made sure that I told them that God loves us just like a Father, NOT just when we are good.  The author says, "We are radically sinful and radically loved.  At the deepest level of what we do as parents, we should hear the heartbeat of a loving-grace giving-Father who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters".  I just love that don't you?

She also says, "The one encouragement we can always give our children is that God is more powerful than our sin and He's strong enough to make us want to do the right thing.  We can assure them that this help can reach everyone, even them.  Our encouragement should always stimulate praise for God's grace rather than for our goodness".

You see, "We (parents) have far too high a view of our ability to shape our children and far too low a view of God's love and trustworthiness.  This is devastating to the soul.  It cuts us off from the comforts of grace, the peace of conscience and the joy that is to be our strength". Ouchie! I have been trying to "fix" Lottie and Emma in my own strength and when I see my girls at their emotional worst.....I can now see a picture of my own heart.  I can hear God reminding me that the heart of this rebel is just like my own heart and I have to teach her about grace.  I can't change their hearts.....it is my job to teach them about His laws and His love but only God has the power to change hearts. I have forgotten that it is not my feeble attempts at parenting that are going to change them. I have forgotten that God is at work in them.  And that I "should pray with confidence that they will be changed. I must have confidence in His strength NOT my own". That alone makes me feel better:)

Dave Harvey said, "I thought parenting was going to portray my strengths, never realizing that God had ordained it to reveal my weaknesses". Wow! Is THAT not ever true! I'm not sure how but parenting can make you feel invincible and like a complete failure all at once:) It is a wild ride but it is the only job I have ever wanted.....I never had dreams of being anything but a wife and a mother.

I like what the author says here, "God teaches us of His grace and the gospel through difficult children.  We learn what it is like to love like He loved.  We learn to walk in His footsteps and it is there....in our own personal upper room...where we learn how to wash the feet of our children.  It is there, kneeling before the feet of our rebellious child that the REAL power of God is demonstrated".

Jesus said, Let the little children come to me......"He listened to their stories.  He drew them close.  He smiled warmly.  They had nothing to offer, nothing to give to Him.  All they had was responsive, humble, messy love.  They loved him because He had loved them.  And His love was all they needed".

I read this book at just the right time in my life.....in my situation. The author speaks very bluntly and this month I needed a "good talking to" so it was just what the doctor ordered. But I did not like the book in its entirety.  I do not agree with her theological explanation of Paul's "thorn" but I'm sure there are hundreds of interpretations of what that was.....for me.....it doesn't matter. All I know is that Paul did struggle and he was a pretty amazing follower of Christ. I also felt like she was encouraging parents to exasperate their children with the gospel in a lecturing type manner that would make them feel guilty for their behavior and that just rubs me the wrong way. I don't want to guilt my children into a relationship with Jesus. I want them to run to Him....willingly!  So I leave you with this comforting scripture, (Matthew 11:28030) Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light".

Reading that is like stepping outside during a rain shower and feeling the grace fall from heaven!